“My baby only naps when I hold her!”

A survival guide for your snuggly newborn napper.

In those hazy early few weeks, your newborn baby slept nearly constantly, and didn’t need your help to calm for naps. They just...melted into sleep. Once they were out, you could set them down in a bassinet and they’d continue snoozing peacefully. Sometimes those naps were over 2 hours! “I can handle this!”, you thought as you drifted off for a nap with them next to you in the bassinet, or as you binge watched Gilmore girls on the couch.

Now, all of a sudden, your baby is longer a sleepy little bundle. They are AWAKE, and they are demanding! Sometimes it takes an hour of rocking, bouncing, or singing (or all three!) to get them to sleep. Naps are often just 15-20 minutes, and you can’t seem to put them down. Your baby’s best naps happen on your body--on your chest while you rock, or lounge on the couch, or snuggled in a baby carrier. 

You start to wonder...

“Is it OK to hold my baby for naps?”

“Am I setting up bad sleep habits?”

“Can I ruin my baby by holding them for naps?”

“Are these short naps normal?”

I hear these questions A LOT. Like with almost every one of my clients. And here’s what I want to scream from the rooftops: 

“NO, you cannot ruin your baby by holding them for naps!” 

“NO, you are not doomed to a life of contact naps!” 

“And YES, short naps are totally normal and developmentally appropriate.”

Here’s the deal with newborn naps.

Newborns love touch. They crave closeness, warmth, and movement. You smell familiar. You feel like home. In fact, your newborn believes they are still part of you. As they wake up to the world, it makes sense that they turn to you, their homebase, for comfort, especially when they are tired and want to sleep. 

These contact naps are a beautiful part of the newborn days. Newborn snuggles are one of the world’s sweetest joys. And they are fleeting. As your baby continues to grow and mature, they will outgrow their need to nap on your body.

THAT SAID-holding your baby for every.single.nap, ESPECIALLY if it takes 30 minutes of bouncing to get them down-is intense. It’s exhausting to be so demanded.

If your baby will only nap on you, here are some tips!

Be prepared.

Prepare a spot for contact naps with whatever supplies you need--nursing pillow, pacifier, burp cloth, etc. Make sure you’ve used the bathroom so that you don’t have to cut a nap short because you have to pee. Ensure that your water bottle and a snack are within reach. Put your phone and TV remote somewhere convenient (and check your phone’s charge!).

Entertain yourself.

One of the challenges of holding your baby for every nap is that...it gets boring! Prepare yourself with some entertainment. Your book or kindle, magazines. Set up your space so that you can binge watch a favorite show while you snuggle! I also loved listening to audiobooks and podcasts during naps in the baby carrier. If sounds from the TV or your phone will wake your baby, it’s totally worth investing in some good headphones.

Take care of your body.

All of this holding and carrying can take a toll on your body, especially your neck, shoulders and back. Try to counter all the forward bending and holding with some stretches and gentle movement. Roll your neck from side to side. Roll your shoulders. Take a gentle forward fold. Do some cat/cows or a gentle downward dog. Stretch your arms out wide, take up space. 

When help arrives, hand your baby over.

If you are your baby’s primary caregiver, you may feel touched out by the afternoon or evening. When your partner or other support person arrives, let them take your baby for a nap while you rest, take a bath or shower, or go for a walk outside all by yourself. This is one of my favorite ways to support my postpartum doula clients!

If you are OVER your newborn’s short naps, or holding your baby for every nap, you don’t have to figure this out on your own! It’s never too early to start practicing independent sleep skills. I help families navigate this during my in-person and virtual visits all the time. During an in-person visit, I can even hold your baby for a nap or two so you can have a break. I’m here for you!  Reach out to learn more!

And if you’re ready for more targeted sleep coaching, Jenna at REMedy Pediatric Sleep Coaching is a wonderful resource as well!