Doing everything right didn’t prepare you for this.
No pregnancy or baby was ever more wanted. No pregnancy or baby was ever so prepared for. You spent your pregnancy researching and preparing, making your decisions based on research and evidence. You read all the books and articles and blog posts. Did prenatal yoga, exercise, daily walks. You took your prenatal vitamins, diligently avoided unpasteurized cheese, alcohol, sushi, and deli meat. You took the best childbirth education class in town, and asked all your friends for the best pediatrician recommendations. You read all the baby gear reviews and only purchased the best. You hired a labor doula, and prepared for birth with breathing exercises, a detailed birth plan, and affirmations. You took a breastfeeding class and proudly purchased a high quality pump, nipple cream, breast pads.
You did everything right. But doing everything right did not prepare you for THIS.
Your baby is here. Your beautiful, wanted, prepared-for baby. And in between the moments of joy and delight at this gorgeous miraculous little being….you feel confused, overwhelmed. Defeated by the chaos and uncertainty. Lost. And so, so tired.
Breastfeeding is so much harder than you expected. Is she hungry, or tired? Overstimulated? Why won’t she latch? Why does it hurt? Does she really need to eat again? Am I making enough milk? How long should she nurse for? Should we supplement with a bottle?
The unpredictability of your newborn’s eating and sleeping and fussiness, combined with sleep deprivation and exhaustion, feel crushing. Effort does not yield any predictable rewards, and you find this discouraging and maddening. Your body hurts and you know you need rest, but all the “shoulds” around your house taunt you--dirty dishes, dusty windowsills, breast pads strewn about, burp clothes and pacifiers and swaddles everywhere. Sticky white sprays of breastmilk on the end table. You haven't prepared a meal in weeks.
A week after birth, and you still can’t sit down without discomfort. Your nipples feel raw and chapped, and you’ve begun to dread feedings, your baby’s cries bringing a sense of despair and frustration at the prospect of beginning the feeding process yet again.
In the hard moments, which seem to be almost every moment, you wonder...What have we done? Am I enough? Can I do this?
Mama, I see you. I hear you. I have been you. In yesterday’s pajamas, crumpled nursing pads peeking out of your nursing bra. I see beautiful YOU--the woman you were, the woman you are, the mother you are becoming. And I want you to know that YOU. ARE. ENOUGH. You are the exact right mother for your baby.
It is so, so hard to be a new parent right now. Isolated from family and friends. Unable to get out to mother and baby groups, breastfeeding support groups. Zoomed out, but also missing social connection. In love with your sweet new baby, and also desperate for some semblance of your old life back, for order, predictability. For some reward for all your hard work.
I’m here to help you, just as you are.
You need support, connection, encouragement. You need someone to answer your questions about infant feeding, and newborn sleep, and pacifiers, yes, but most of all you need someone to LISTEN to you. To hear you and support you, without judgement or pretense or expectation. You need rest and nourishment. You need encouragement and praise for everything you do for your baby.
You need a postpartum doula.
Let me be here for you. To nurture both you and your baby. To encourage you, and love on you. To provide you with practical tips and tricks, AND help you build the confidence that whatever comes your way, you can figure it out. To help you rest by taking some household and baby care tasks off your plate.
Mama, I see you. I’m here for you. You are not alone, and you are enough.
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